So probably one of my best stories in this book is also one
of the most heartbreaking. Don’t
get me wrong, as you continue on in this book you will find that there are some
truly heartbreaking moments when it comes to my relationships. However, when all is said and done,
this particular story sticks out very strongly in my mind, mostly because it
was never really resolved or closed.
It is actually the story that inspired me so long ago to write this
book, but until now I hadn’t had enough stories to fill a whole book. Well hold on to your britches
bitches. It’s about to get real,
REAL fast. But, here is the story
that started it all.
Like
I mentioned earlier, my high school was very small, and there weren’t a lot of
gay males (or at least OUT gay males) to necessarily catch my eye, so my time
was mostly spent with again my dear friend Ana and my other friend Steve, whom
we convinced out of the closet (long story). But the three of us, as well as Ana’s girlfriend would hang
out almost every night, obviously being very secretive so the parents wouldn’t
catch on to what the girls were doing.
Now my mother knew full well about what was going on. My mother is amazing, she was the first
person I ever came out to and she has been nothing but supportive in all of my
life, from career choice to boys to everything. A special shout out to you mom. The best fag hag I’ve ever had.
ANYWAY... Ana and Steve both worked at this ‘50s themed
diner called Gunther Toodys, and once
their shifts were done at night we would often times hang out. But every day at school they were
constantly talking about this new guy Josh who worked there and how he was so
hot and so nice and this and that, but they were so upset because he was straight. Ugh straights…I mean don’t get me
wrong, you straights are very nice people and I accept you for who you as long
as you keep your immoral lifestyles away from me. Just kidding.
But all I heard was “Josh this…” and “Josh that…” and “Josh is so
funny…” blah blah blah blah spank me.
Now for some odd reason, whenever I were to stop by the Toodys, Josh wouldn’t be working, so it
was quite awhile before we actually met.
Until one ill-fated night.
Ana
and Steve both had just finished working and called me up asking if I wanted to
hang out. I of course said yes and
they said they were going to bring Josh with them because they were going to
drop him off at home after they picked me up. I remember exactly what I was wearing. A baby blue and navy striped button
down shirt (freshly ironed and starched-I was a little OCD in high school and
fell in love with starch) a pink t-shirt underneath, faded light blue jeans,
and a pair of white and blue tennis shoes, all this accompanied with my
glasses. Now I wasn’t dressing up
for this guy, I just like looking nice.
Steve’s car pulled up and I hopped into the front seat (Ana and Josh)
were in the back. I turned around
to introduce myself and immediately realized what the fuss was about. Before me lay one of the most
attractive people that had come into my life. Blue eyes, light brown hair, great body, and a smile that gave me goose bumps. WOW. With maybe just a hint of a shocked look on my face, I
composed myself and introduced myself.
We exchanged hellos and headed to drop Josh off at home. I suddenly became very aware of myself
and what I was doing and what I was saying, trying not to look or sound like a
fool. After a little drive (Josh
ended up not living too far from me) we pulled up to drop him off. Ana then asked Josh if he happened to
have any medicine for a headache and Josh invited her inside with him to get
something. Steve and I suddenly
became school girls and chatted all about Josh. Steve clearly had a big crush, and apparently…so did I. Ana quickly returned and we were
off. We had nowhere to go but just
continued to drive, but all throughout the drive I realized that Ana was giving me a very
weird look, as if she was trying to get my attention. We stopped at a gas station and Steve went into
pay. Suddenly Ana had…how do you
call it…word vomit. From what I
can remember this is how it went. “ Ok so I have to make this fast so Steve
doesn’t hear, but when I went into Josh’s house he suddenly brought you up
saying he has never, EVER been attracted to a guy EVER but he thought that you
were the most attractive guy he has ever seen!” Pause as Ana’s face is lit up
with excitement. And I stammer,
“What?!?” Suddenly Steve enters
the car and all conversation ends.
All through out the night, since Ana and I don’t have a moment alone
together, I’m lost in my thoughts.
What does this mean? What
could it mean? Why did a straight boy fall for me? ME?! Of all people?! Do I have some sort of magic ability? The night ends and Ana walks me to my
door. She tells me that Steve is not working the next night but herself and Josh are, and that her girlfriend Elle and I should come in after their shift. Though I feel bad because Steve clearly
has feelings for this guy, I agree to come because I not only think Josh is
extremely attractive, but a part of me feels special to be noticed.
The
next night after their shift, Elle, Ana, Josh and I all sit at a booth. Ana and Elle on one side, Josh and I on
the other. We all make small chat,
and its clear and obvious that Josh and I are flirting…Major. He will make a joke, I’ll laugh even if
its not funny and he’ll nudge me with his elbow. He even grabs my cell phone that I keep on the table and puts his home and cell number in my phone himself and says, "Just in case." Then I bring out one of my tests. I have a series of tests to check and see if someone is
interested in me. With this one, I
slowly creep my knee under the table until it is touching his. If he pulls away, he is not interested. If he doesn’t he is. Ok I know its stupid but it’s all I
had. But it works. He doesn't pull away
Suddenly Ana has a brilliant
plan, we should all go to this place called The Promenade (a place with shops,
restaurants, and a movie theatre-a big high school hang out) but unfortunately
and coincidentally Elle wants to take her car but there is only room enough for
two, and she says, “Why don’t you and Josh come in your car, and meet us
there?” Thank you Ana. We agree to meet there and the girls
surprisingly take off rather quickly, while I wait until Josh grabs his
bag. We get in my car and take our
time to get there, we make small talk about schools we go to, the weather,
likes and dislikes, and suddenly we are in the dark parking lot of The
Promenade. Instead of getting out,
we chat for a long time, flirting all the way. Out of pure instinct, I put my arm on the back of his seat and let my fingers rest on his shoulder. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back. He ever so slowly, moves in and kisses me. I have never felt sparks like that before. Time stops moving. Within a matter of
minutes we are feverishly making out in my mothers car. Sorry mom. This is awesome.
I don’t know why but the whole him being “straight” thing is a real turn
on. We go at it for about 10
minutes, getting more and more into it when suddenly he stops and says, “Wait, wait, wait…I can’t do this I’m
sorry.” Damn. I knew this was too good to be
true. I respond with, “I’m really
sorry.” And he says “Oh no! It’s not you!
I like you…I mean I really like you and I think you are so attractive,
it’s just that…” Pause. I wait,
thinking of a million things that could be wrong. He finally spits out, “Its just….that... I have a girlfriend.” To be continued…
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